Creature of Habit
Yesterday I went to Iowa City to see Iowa City Community Theatre's production of "My Fair Lady". The last time ICCT produced this show was 1994. I was part of the ensemble. Seven of the cast members from the '94 cast are in the current production. I enjoyed seeing my friends on stage as well as visiting with them after the show.
I had lived in Iowa City for over 20 years before moving to Atlanta with the man with whom I thought I'd spend the rest of my life. Less than two years later, I am back in Iowa--in Des Moines. Least to say, the fairytale went awry.
Since returning, I've been to Iowa City twice. The first was right after I returned, the second was this weekend. It was nice to see many familiar faces. People wanted to catch up and hear what I have been up to.
I think this is why I haven't been anxious to return "home" this past year. I've been licking my wounds and dealing with the pain of my lost love. It was a very hurtful break-up. The kind that leaves you with a dull-throbbing pain--where you wonder how long it will take to go away.
So, I made my way around talking to friends and revealing little pieces of my story. The overwhelming feedback was that I look great and life appears to be going well for me.
Positive feedback is great. Good to hear. I will keep this in my heart.
Separating oneself from another person involves creating a new set of habits. Initially, everything reminds you of the other person and things you did together. And so you have to do all those things that you did as two as one and it gradually becomes normal.
I had a long list of things that needed to become normal. And as the year progressed, I worked my way through that list and life began to feel full again. The void slowly filled with new habits. I also felt the release of shaking off stress-inducing habits I had formed to accommodate my ex. (Most notably, the freedom of not having to move empty hangers to the designated "empty hanger space" in the closet.)
This past weekend, the most asked question was not about what happened with my relationship, rather, people wanted to know if I am involved in theatre in Des Moines. I am not. And I think it's because I've been busy creating a new life. This doesn't mean I'll never do theatre. Right now, it's not my focus.
My focus is healing and I recently made a big turning point in this area. I identified a habit I need to maintain, which is severing the lines of communication with my ex.
I realized that, while one is healing, it's best to leave the wound alone. Communicating with an ex--even if it's only via email--can be like picking at a scab.
It's hard to fathom that this person who I had loved so much (and, for a while in my life I had planned on spending the rest of my life with) I need to cut out of my life. But, that is a habit I need to form.
At least for this heart of mine.
Crazy Yard Lady
Last summer I bought a beautiful Arts and Crafts style bungalow located in an established neighborhood. Established means that it's in a neighorhood with lots of old homes (mine was built in 1923) and big trees.
One of the selling points was the yard. Nice lawn and plantings around the home. Big tree in the backyard...
The previous place I owned was a condo. So, I never got to experience the joys of lawn maintenance.
I am more than making up for this now.
Recently, I announced to my friends that I believe I am turning into a crazy yard lady. Between prowling the yard with weed killer and using "Lawn Patch", I'm on a mission to having a lush green lawn.
I spent this past weekend of beautiful warm weather landscaping the front corner of my lawn. The grass on this part of my yard--on a hill with full sun exposure--didn't survive last summer's extreme heat and drought-like conditions. So, 26 Phlox plugs and 2-1/2 bags of mulch later, problem solved. At least I hope it is, fingers are crossed that all the plantings "take".
Next came anxiety when I spotted rabbits frolicking in my hostas, wondering if they would make their way over to the Phlox for a nibble.
Rabbit anxiety was soon replaced by frost anxiety as a Spring frost was predicted. So, I was out the night the temp's were due to drop covering my hardwork with 3 sheets.
I suppose there are worse things to get hooked on than maintaining and beautifying one's yard.
Dormant Green Thumb Gene Emerges
My grandmother's entire yard was a beautiful display of flowers--no grass, just flowers. The back yard was particularly magical to me as a child. She had lattice arches with flowering vines growing on them. I loved walking through these and on the narrow trails through the flowers.
I've seen my parents and my sister exhibit their love of gardening in various ways.
Now that I own a home with a real yard, the dormant green thumb gene in me has apparently emerged. This is much to my surprise as I didn't think I had the family green thumb.
Well, I guess it is to be determined if I have the family green thumb.
The desire to have a green thumb seems to be in me. Back in February it started as I found myself pouring over catalogs from Michigan Bulb and Spring Hill Nurseries. Feeling humble about my green thumb, I elected to order "The Foolproof Perennial Garden" and other plants that are in the "easy to care for" category.
Still waiting for the bulbs to come. And, it's been hard. I want to get my hands in the dirt.
Last summer, Des Moines experienced record high temperatures and little rain. The end result was the front corner of my lawn--which is on a hill--was fried. I had my suspicions last summer, but was told by hopeful friends that it was just "dormant".
It's not dormant, it's toast.
Pre-green thumb, I would have been upset about this happening to my lawn. However, I now find myself excited over being forced into a landscaping project. Started the first step today of outlining the portion to be landscaped and applying Round-up to kill off what is left of the grass. The grass will then be removed and Creeping Phlox planted.
Future posts will, no doubt, document my joy or sorrow--depending how this turns out.
Can I say "Microsoft bites"?
It's been three weeks since my last post. So, I kick myself in the butt to write something. Halfway through, I pull up Word on my computer to run spell check and the whole thing shuts down.
I am old enough (and I'm really not THAT old) to remember the days of Word Perfect. One of the many programs that the Microsoft empire crushed. It's a shame. Word is still a deeply flawed program.
The first PC operating system I ever worked on was BTOS. Very impressive, much better and easier to use than DOS.
Back in college, I typed my papers out on a typewriter. I thought life would improve in this area when I discovered the university mainframe (my junior year). It didn't. So, I went back to my typewriter.
Within a year, the Apple Computer Lab turned up on campus. Steve Jobs was my hero. There was even a program where students could get special financing for the purchase of an Apple computer. I chose to use the computer lab. I think the price-tag at that time was around $800 for a new computer. Seemed like a lot of $ to me in 1986. And the technology was always "changing". So, I viewed it much like buying a car. Something I could certainly use, but was like throwing money down the drain as it could only depreciate in value.
Back to BTOS. It was great. In 1989, I got a job at an architectural firm--typing up specifications and putting together proposals to get projects--while I finished college. There were only two of us in the office with computers--the spec writer and me.
There were 8 of us in the firm at that time--Roy, Kevin, Rick, Dwight, Steve, Max, Joyce (part-time) and me. Today, I think they are over 30 in staff. All the guys are still there. Joyce and I are gone. I ended up staying at that firm for 10 years--long after I had graduated from the University of Iowa.
In 1990, the architectural firm moved into a larger location and everyone got computers. No more drawings done by hand. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was the end of an era for architecture.
With this change, my BTOS system was replaced with DOS. It was a tough transition. I couldn't understand why I had to take a step backwords. However, soon, I was introduced to "Windows". My first impression was that it was a PC version of what Apple had going on. I don't think I was far off on this.
But, I was grateful for the improvement from having to work through DOS. BTOS became a thing of the past. I was also introduced to the "mouse". Another tough transition as I was used to navigating via the keyboard, which was faster and more efficient. I still believe this to be the case.
So, here I am today with my computer at home. It's a PC. And Apple's are now MacIntosh. And I feel that 41 isn't that old. But in technology-land, it is.
